I don’t know who wrote this but it is good . I might have slipped in a comment or two.
OBITUARY – Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
– Knowing when to come in out of the rain; (definitely before it floods)
– Why the early bird gets the worm; (maybe because he likes worms and I don’t)
– Life isn’t always fair; ( so run to your SAFE PLACE)
– And maybe it was my fault.( could be , but I doubt it)
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn)( I think our government follows this strategy ) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).( that is hard to tell anymore)
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing ( IRS, EPA UCLA )regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;( and he kissed a girl imagine that), teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;he had onions with lunch and did not want to offend any GAYS or MUSLIMS) and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.( why of course the teacher should be fired , your not to saying anything about their behavior or they will sue you.)
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.(everyone knows children are at their best till age 2 , after that the little shits take over because they did not ask to be born.)
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.(condoms are free for 5 year olds)
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;( it is amazing that the old country church died out because the pastor did not beg for a bigger building and more money because 10 new people showed up last week) and criminals received better treatment than their victims.( no no look you can not call them criminals any more, they are misunderstood and had a rough childhood, so it was the victim’s fault that they got hurt or robbed)
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.( that’s right there was a misunderstood person who enter a house with permission to use the phone the misunderstood person tried to rob them and got shot. He ended up in the rooming house for misunderstood people. He is suing the homeowners because he was invited in.)
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.( YES now I can’t get a cup of coffee that’s does not get cold in 5 minutes thanks a lot bitch) any chance of a a few bucks.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,(there is no truth because you can’t handle the truth)
-by his wife, Discretion,( Discretion, I don’t think she had any discretion with her neighbors wife or the husband no discretion at all)
-by his daughter, Responsibility,(no way she somehow lost her underwear and did not know where, she said she was not responsible for that, because she was drunk.
-and by his son, Reason.( there is no reason he passed the 8th grade)
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;(no comment I didn’t know)
– I Know My Rights( See all the love and training and help we gave them and still is not enough, most ungrateful asses I have ever seen)
– I Want It Now
– Someone Else Is To Blame
– I’m A Victim
– Pay me for Doing Nothing
FINALLY, not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. Amen!
Surely you can tell common sense died , if you can’t you are the reason the world is the way it is. So as North Carolina battles the feds on common sense, I ask you if you have a penis and you stand to piss , you go to the men’s room . Now if you have a vagina and you sit down to pee you use the ladies room. Now here is where the problem lies if you should feel like a woman one day and you still have a dick, don’t be a dick use the men’s room. Now if you are anyways close to being normal and you don’t have a dick , by all means use the ladies room. If you don’t do this right ,you never know who is outside waiting to straighten you out.